Saturday, May 31, 2008

OMG!!!! Sarah is crawling!

Tonight before I went to work Michael and I were playing with Sarah in her bedroom, she saw the monitor on the floor and wanted it so Michael moved it away from her. She was determined to have it so she crawled to it. She doesn't have it down pat but she is trying. She has been trying and trying for days but she wasn't really on the go until she surprised us tonight. I guess I have to finish baby proofing the house sooner than later. Here is a video of her:


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Happy 30th Andy!

Ok, I am a little late in posting this one and I don't meant to post all at once but Sarah actually went to bed early tonight and I have a little time. Actually alot of time, Sarah hit her head tonight (really hard). She was walking with Michael, fell and hit her head off the wall. So, I am waiting to up a little so I can wake her just to make sure that she is alright. I am going to be totally gray by the time she is done learning to walk. No wonder my blood pressure is threw the roof.

Anyway, last weekend was my cousin Andy's surprise 30th Birthday party. It was really nice and we had a great time. Here are the pictures:
Andy and Sarah:
Michael fed Sarah baked beans:
Andy and Jen:
Chris (Andy's roommate) and Sarah:
Nina Marie:

Sarah a bully?

Anna is in town for a week and she was at the house yesterday. It was great to see her daughter Brianna, 10 months, and Sarah playing together. The last time that they were together they just looked at each other. Here is a video of them playing. My question is: Is Sarah going to be that bully on the playground? Or that little girls that doesn't want to share?

Thank goodness that she doesn't know any better or you would really think that she took her down on purpose. I feel bad for Brianna but we got a kick out of this video.

Monday, May 19, 2008

8 months!

Sarah is 8 months! She is learning so much and she is willing to show off as long as it's on her terms. She waves, puts her hands in the air and say "up," and she calls for "mama" and "dada." She is clapping. The other day we were watching Dancing with the Stars and after Kristie and Marks dance she started clapping. I t was like she knew that the dance was good, but it was because she saw the people on TV clapping. She loves to stand and that is all that she wants to do, and this past weekend she has been trying to do it more on her own, she pushes Michael and I away. She has been pulling herself up. This has lead to many head bumps and my blood pressure going through the roof but she is fine. She has been attempting to crawl but she is not on the move as of yet. She still only has two bottom teeth, but her gums are hard as rocks. I joke that she is going to wake up one morning and she is going to have a full set of teeth. I feel really bad because I know that her teeth are really bothering her but there is nothing that I can do to take away the pain. Her teeth have lead to many problems with her eating. The only thing that she has had in days is her bottle, sweet potato puffs and mashed potatoes. I hope that these teeth come in soon.

Everyday has been a joy and its hard to believe that in 4 months she will be a year old. I added a few videos of her below.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Here are some pictures of Sarah from yesterday. It was a really beautiful day! My mom and dad took these pics while they were watching her.



So far the day is exactly what I expected it to be...bittersweet. When I got home from work Michael had the steps from the garage up to the living room lined with cards. They made me cry! Sarah woke up just in time to give me big hug and kiss before I went to sleep. Michael gave me that foot rub that I wanted. Yeah! My heart hurts for Abby and Morgan, but playing with Sarah has eased it. We were suppose to go the cemetery today but I just couldn't. I think it would have made it harder. The day is shaping up to be a good one. My Mother's Day is everything that I wanted, hanging out with my husband, my daughter and my family. And Abby and Morgan in my thoughts.

Mother's Day...

Today will be my first "official" Mother's Day, even though this is my third. The last two years were days of fury over the fact that it was forgotten that I was a mother of two. There are few people that would think about how hard it was to know that there are millions of mothers out there celebrating their "motherhood" and you weren't allowed because your babies aren't living. So does that make all of the women out there that lost their children to accidents, decease, or other reasons not mothers anymore? Do you lose the title once your children are no longer living? I know that there were people that may have thought about it but didn't want to hurt me by saying anything and then their were people that just didn't think about it at all. It would have been nice to hear "Happy Mother's Day," because it was going to hurt even without hearing it. Then I find myself thinking has everyone forgotten about Abby and Morgan?

I don't know how today will be, I don't know if I will feel sad or just be happy to have Sarah to celebrate with. I imagine that it will be bittersweet; amazed that my dreams of having a child to hold in my arms is real, but sad that there should be three children in my arm not just one.

Well see how today goes but the best Mother's Day would be just spending the day with Sarah and Michael laughing and having a good time. And maybe a foot rub considering I was on my feet all night. (HAHA) I'll have to let you know how it goes.

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Update...

I had off this weekend and it will probably be my last for a long while. Just another reason why I hate being back at work. I will be spending our family days sleeping so that I can go to work that night.


Saturday was raining all day and the three of us had a really hard time getting started for the day. We all stayed in pj's until after noon. Before Sarah, Michael and I used to laze around one weekend day and just enjoy each others company but the greatest feeling came over me when the three of us were playing and I realized that it's not two us anymore there are three. I still find myself looking at her and thinking "she is ours and she is not going anywhere." Michael says that he findshimself thinking the same thing. I can't wait until she is older and comes into our room in the morning to wake us up. Yes, I said I can't wait now and may even regret saying that, but there was a time in my life that I thought the only thing ever waking me up in the morning was going to be my alarm clock, now it's the sound of a childs voice and there is nothing better. We had the best day cuddling with Sarah and relaxing.

Sarah going crazy trying to move. She doesn't want to sit and play, she wants to stand up, roll on her belly, trying to get on her knees, or even trying to pull herself up. She is not a happy camper if you try to leave her to play on her own, she wants you there and she want you to help her get up. It's not going to be long before she is either crawling or walking. I need to get gates. She is starting to wave, well her version of a wave. She is also starting to clap and sing when you sing. I can't believe all that she is trying to do all at once.

Sunday, Michael ordered us out of the house. He wanted to clean and didn't want to be bothered with be interrupted by Sarah or I. So I met Becky at the mall and I got a little shopping out of the way. It is really sad we can't get any real cleaning done when Sarah is around. She demands our attention and we give in. I know that sounds really bad and I know that I have to get away from this habit, but I am a sucker fer her crying and Michael is no better. I offered to let Michael take her and I would do the cleaning but he wanted to do it. I am blessed to have a husband that would even offer.

Well tonight I am back to work. I pray everynight that my mom hits the powerball so that I don't have to work anymore.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Due Date

Today was Abby and Morgan's due date...and the day went on like normal. They would have been two. I stopped by the cemetery today. Sometime it is so weird to see their names on the headstone. It is like a slap of reality. My arms hurt to hold them again. I wish that I could remember what it felt like to hold them. I do anything to go back and commit it to memory. I find myself holding Sarah more when my arms hurt, sometime it feels better, sometime the hurt just stays. Today was hard but I got through it.

I miss you my sweet angels and love you so very much!

Debbie, thank you for remembering me, Michael and the girls today!