Happy New Year! 2008 in Review!

Michael had to work this New Years Eve, so we packed up and Sarah and I went with him. Well, we didn't actually work. Michael booked us into the hotel, in a lovely 2 bedroom suite, where I ate Chinese food with my family and Sarah ran around like a loon until 12:30am. Getting her to bed was a test of wills. I eventually won, but not after a long hard fight. Michael came up about 25 minutes before midnight and rang in the new year with us, then he was back to work keeping crowd control. Michael finally came to bed about 2:30am, his absolutely adorable dream of having the three of sleep in the same bed came to a bitter reality as he was kicked and shoved by Sarah for the 3 hours he had hoped to sleep. It would figure that 15 minutes after he got out of bed, Sarah finally got comfortable with her head on his pillow and slept until 10:30. New Years Day, we went to Great-Grammie and Marsha's house for the traditional meal of pork and sauerkraut. When we got home Michael and Sarah crashed early!

I saw this on another blog (Thank you, Debbie!!!!) So here is 2008 in review!

The Holidays

Where do I begin? I guess I should start off with Christmas Eve. Sarah slept in that morning until about 9:45. It was amazing! Our morning starts with a ritual of snuggles, a diaper change and breakfast (we learned that Sarah likes French toast sticks.) By then it was 11:03am and the morning rush to get started was underway but my thoughts were on Abby and Morgan. This was the first year that I didn't do anything at the cemetery. I felt really horrible about, like I was letting them down, like I wasn't being a good parent. I know that you are thinking how can you let down children that aren't even alive but I felt that way. It was just too hard this year in many ways. Although, my mom and dad went to the cemetery and put a beautiful wreath with angel's wings there.

Anyway, this was the first year I had Christmas Eve dinner at our house. Michael wanted turkey, so that is what we had with all of the trimmings. We decided that we wanted to start a new tradition for ourselves and Sarah. Something that Sarah could count on every year, so that no matter where we are she knows that family will be at our house for Christmas Eve dinner. This year it was my Mom, Dad, Becky, Stacy and us. (maybe next year Michael's family will be able to be with us too.) I want to Thank my family for being so willing to change tradition and start a new one with us. I know that 30 years of tradition is really hard to move on from, I missed it too, but I am happy we made the change. After dinner we exchanged gifts and it was a mad house. My parents went crazy buying for Sarah and I don't think that she knew where to begin. She would tear open the paper and then just stare at the boxes. It was crazy! After we put Sarah to bed, Michael and I went to 10pm Mass. (We didn't leave Sarah at home by herself, my parents watched her.) Michael really disliked the choir, they were really bad. I know that isn't the point of being at mass but it made it really hard to concentrate, so I think next year we will try a different church.


Christmas morning, the same morning ritual, snuggles, diaper change but no breakfast. We brought Sarah into the living room and she ran to the tree with an immediate halt. She opened her mouth in a wide "O" and pointed to the Christmas Mickey Mouse wrapped gifts. Then came the delayed "OOOHHH." Her face was so precious. I have to admit that I didn't get many pictures of her that morning, I was paying so much attention to her reaction that I forgot about the camera. It was a little overwhelming for her but I think next year will be alot more fun. I have to say Christmas is so much better with Children. Don't get me wrong, I know plenty of people that have great Christmas's without children, I was one of them for many years, but watching Sarah and interacting with her is better than any other Christmas' I have ever had.


After a breakfast of monkey bread and taking turns to get ready, we were off to Great-Grammie and Marsha's house. We had an early dinner there and exchanged gifts then came home to a nice quite evening. I have no idea what got into Sarah that night but she was so funny and goofy, she had Michael and I in stitches all night. It was fantastic!

I don't know how to explain how great Christmas was this year and to think how much better it will be next year when she really gets it. I can't wait! I think I may even start a countdown!


I know that it may appear to some that I can not or have not dealt with the loss of Abby and Morgan due to several things expressed to me this holiday season, but I want to make it clear that I have dealt with it and will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. And I say "I", but really, Michael deals with it too. Its just that he does it in a more silent way. I choose not to be so silent because I refuse to tiptoe around it. I will never deny myself the gift of being a mother to "3" beautiful little girls. Each one, no matter how short of time they were with me, have graced my life with pure joy. Being a mother to them has been my greatest accomplishment and I feel that by not acknowledging them all is denying them all the pride that I feel for them. I thank God everyday for each and everyone of them. I do not know why only Sarah is here with me today, but I have come to terms with not asking why for I know that God has a reason for everything. But I am human, so I am not void of feeling sad and missing them. I hope that as my family and friends, you can understand and though this blog is mainly to keep you updated about Sarah, it is also to remember Abby and Morgan.