Back to Work

So tonight was my first night back to work in over a year. In the last 7 months, I have only left Sarah a hand full of time and never for 8 hours. I don't think that it really bothered her but it bothered me. Michael will tell you that there was a lot of tears this afternoon and this weekend will not be any better. I know that this is the best thing for her and for me but I hate leaving her. I know that this will not make sense to most people but after losing Abby and Morgan it is harder to leave her and not be afraid that something is going to happen to her when I am not around. Now before you say it...I know that I can not protect her from every bad thing and that all parents want to protect their children but that doesn't take my fears and worry away. Especially when I know how it feels to have a child and then have it taken away.

I am also afraid that I am going to miss something really big. Yesterday she started to putting her hands in the air when you say "who is big...Sarah is SO BIG." It is so cute! (I will download pics very soon!) And she is doing it non-stop. Michael has her walking up and down our hallway (not on her own yet but holding our fingers) and I can't imagine how much it would hurt if someone else was there to witness her first step on her own and I wasn't. Everyday she is learning something new, I just don't want to miss out on any of it. I keep telling myself that this is for the best, I am earning extra money for Ireland, getting adult interaction, Michael is getting more one on one time with her and Sarah is getting some independence away from me.

Well my first day wasn't that bad and I think that I am going to like it. The people are nice and they seem like a lot of fun. This definitely isn't like any of the other hotels that I have worked in before. I really did miss Sarah, I wish that I could just bring her with me. I better be going to bed the sooner I get to sleep the sooner I get to play with Sarah.

Good night all!