Happy Turkey Day!

I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I am updating this via Becky's computer because there seems to a be lots of problems with ours at the moment. So until I can get our computer fixed I will not be able to post. I promise that I will try to get some new picture of Sarah up as soon as I can.

Today we are at my Gram and Aunt Marsha's for dinner. We had a great day with the same spirited debates, naps and football on the TV. Sarah refused to eat anything of nutritional value today only the sweet stuff which drives Michael and I crazy. I guess tomorrow is a new day.

Since today is a day of thanks, I have to say how thankful I am Sarah and Michael. They fill my life with so much joy and happiness. I am thankful for family and good friends, they have been such a great support through trying times and a good laugh through the good times.

I hope that everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!

Sarah at 1 year!

These are a few picture that I took of Sarah on her birthday right around the time that she was born. Our little girls is growing so fast!

I haven't posted in a while for several reason. 1.) I am just way too busy lately. I have been working alot more and when i am home I am making up for lost time with Sarah and Michael. And lets not talk about the cleaning and laundry. Michael has been working so much lately, we saw Michael a total of about 5 hours this week, up until Friday when he was off. 2.) I have been thinking about Abby and Morgan alot lately and I am not sure if this is the right outlet for all of that. And before anyone starts thinking I need to get over it already, I say, until you have walking in my shoes do not pass judgement. Last year at this time I was still basking in the glow of my newborn baby girl, Sarah. She needed me for everything and I needed to be needed. Though she still needs me, she is becoming more independent and there is more time to think. Think about who is not here with us.

I have been watching my cousin Desi's little girls Nina and Giulianna. Nina is 3 almost 4. Guilianna is 1, only 4 months older than Sarah. When I look at the three of them playing (or not) it just makes me wonder if this is what it would have been like if Abby, Morgan and Sarah were here. How exhausting it would have been. But I love watching how they interact with each other. I love that every minute is filled with something. When they are gone, I feel sad because my house is quieter and I am able to hear my thoughts more. My thoughts are of the girls and I re-live the day that they were born. The only time I truly had with them. I am starting to forget things about them. Isn't it bad enough that they aren't here with us, do my memories have to be taken also.

My heart is constantly at war, sad that my world is less beautiful without Abby and Morgan, but overwhelmed with the joy that Sarah gives my everyday.

Baby Gabriella!

Our very close friends Brian and Anna welcomed Gabriella Renee to this world yesterday. She was 6lbs 14oz and 19 inches long. We think that she was born around 5:30pm but not exactly sure, I am still waiting for confirmation. (I will let everyone know later for all of you who like to play the numbers.) Anna and Gabby are doing well. We are soo excited for you Brian and Anna. You are blessed with a beautiful family! Brian, as of yesterday you are "officially" out numbered (3:1), October 8th was the last day you had of ever being right about anything so I hope that you are ready. Brianna is going to be a great big sister and we can't wait to hear how she takes to having Gabby around. We love you!
Congratulations,
Beth, Michael and Sarah!

Nat'l Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day - Take Action

Thank you to Busted Babymaker for bringing this to my attention. Now I am bringing it to you...

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.Action

Steps:

Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.

GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.

GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."

GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.

"An Ugly Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes.They are ugly shoes.

Uncomfortable Shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them.I get funny looks wearing these shoes.

They are looks of sympathy.

I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the other one who wears these shoes.

There are many pairs in the world.

Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.

Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.

Some have work the shoes so long that days will go bybefore they think of how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger women.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author Unknown

Happy 1st Birthday Souza Sisters

Today was the birthday of my friend Debbie's twins Charlotte and Maggie! They are celebrating their birthday with Mickey Mouse in Disney World. I sooo wish that we could be there to celebrate with them. These two beautiful little girls are walking miracles just like Sarah. I hope that they are having a very Happy Birthday!

Patrick and Ber's Wedding

These are a select few of the picture that the photographer took. I wasn't able to take as many picture as I would have liked due to the fact that I had Sarah. It's really hard to carry Sarah and use my camera at the same time. Besides these are far better pictures than I can take.

Just to let those of you that were not there know, how proud of our baby girl that we were, she walked down the aisle. And she only fell once but thanks to Marie who quickly swooped her up, she continued on with ease. I wasn't able to watch the whole thing because I was walking on the outer aisle just in case she decided she wasn't up for it. (Here is where I beg that if anyone has any video or pictures of her walking up I would love to have a copy. PLEASE!!!!) The best part of the whole thing is that the last little bit of her walk turned into a cute run when she saw Michael at the end of the aisle. Michael then brought her around to me and there are no words to express the look of pride and love that Michael had on his face, it brought tears to my eyes.

I just want to say to Patrick and Ber:

Thank you so much for including me in your special day. It was the first wedding I had been to in years that I truly was able to have fun. The last few years for Michael and I have been really hard. The year, September 2007 to September 2008, has been one on the best years of my life. It started with the birth of my beautiful baby girl and ended with your wedding and Sarah's 1st birthday! Ber, you were one of the most stunning brides I have ever seen! (Patrick you weren't too bad looking either.) Patrick, you were such a little brat when I first met you 8 years ago and you have grown into a responsible man. I am so proud of you! Continue to make each others dreams come true and fill each day that you spend together with more love than the day before. Marriage is not always easy so continue to fight for each other. I hope that you are having fun on your honeymoon!

Love you both,

Beth

Here is my favorite picture from the whole day! This is the best family photo I have to date and I already have a copy displayed in my living room!

Photo by Anthony O'Donoghue (using my wonderful Cannon Rebel Digital Camera)